False Accusations

I was just accused of letting my dog pee in the house. Before I get into the story, there is some pertinent background information that must be shared. There is a basic core group of maids who have worked in the TLF ever since we arrived, and for the most part, we see these women daily. There are three: Maria, Esmeralda, & Curly Sue. These are not their real names, but we can't remember their names, so we made some up. Every once in a while, a new maid will come along, who you can just tell is trying to revolutionize the Air Force Inns cleaning mindset.

This is great and all, because it means that our house will actually receive service consistently, but it also means you get a real stickler for the rules. Back in April, there was a maid here named Caron (her real name, she wore a name tag) and she was gung ho about providing quick, efficient service on a daily basis. I think our sheets where changed three times in one week, and even though we said that wasn't necessary, Caron informed me that it was policy. Caron also loved Crockett, which I liked, because it meant that if she happened to glimpse him snoozing on the couch, she wasn't going to go berserk on me.

Sadly, it seems that Caron has moved onto greener pastures because we haven't seen her for a few weeks now, but today I met her replacement. I couldn't read her name on the name tag, because it was an Asian name with a lot of consonants all jumbled together, so let's call her Sun (in honor of Lost's Sun Kwon, may she rest in peace.) The maids arrived just as I was making myself some lunch, and I debated ceasing the making of my salmon sandwich, because I know the smell of fish can be offensive to some, but I was hungry so continued on.

A frozen salmon burger was cooking on the stove, and Sun began to make passes with the vacuum cleaner. After a moment, she stopped near Crockett's food and water bowl, which are both sitting on a mat to prevent the dirtying of carpet. Sun began to sniff the air, and I wondered what was going on. She turned to me and asked me if Crockett used the mat to go to the bathroom. "It smells like pee," she said. In my mind I thought, "Are you kidding me?" Even if we did let our dog pee in the house, they have an infomercial product for that called the Potty Patch, so we would surely use that instead of a basic rubber-backed outdoor rug. Plus, eewwww.

I remained calm, and Sun kept repeating, "It smells like pee." I said that no, we didn't let the dog pee in the house, but maybe she was smelling the rug? Unfortunately, dogs have a tendency to slosh water everywhere when they drink, and I thought that maybe the rug was stinky from absorbing water. She shook her head and said, "No, it is pee!" Sun then walked into the kitchen and over to the fridge, where a list of the dog rules are posted. "It says here, you can't let the dog pee in the house." Really? I thought that was normal.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "I'm sorry, but the dog doesn't go to the bathroom in the house. He uses the yard." And then on a whim, I said, "Maybe you are smelling the fish." Sun said, "Oh, I think so," and then she apologized, which both I and Crockett appreciated. Imagine, a dignified dog like Crockett being accused of peeing in the house! Preposterous!

PS: My sandwich, despite being the cause of all this hullabaloo, was delicious.